


Her Boys

by Athenowl



Series: Marauders Fics [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bohemian Rhapsody, F/M, Gen, Good Peter Pettigrew, Hair Dye, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minerva McGonagall is the best, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Veritaserum, debating semantics of school rules, obligatory 'students out of bed' chapter, the marauders only survived because of McGonagall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:36:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27521647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athenowl/pseuds/Athenowl
Summary: 5 times the Marauders drove Minerva McGonagall half-mad and one time she got her sweet, sweet vengeance.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Marauders Fics [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1737466
Comments: 33
Kudos: 145





	1. Veritaserum

Minerva McGonagall was having a lovely, normal morning, which was only strange in the sense that she almost never had lovely, normal mornings. As head of Gryffindor House, “normal” was often defined as “with a minimal number of explosions”—as head of the House that held the Marauders, “normal” in either definition only existed in the rarest of circumstances.

Still, Minerva was having a normal morning, which rolled into a normal afternoon. Her breakfast had been extra strong and gave her a boost of patience for her second-year students, who seemed to take is as a personal challenge to prove they were better than the first years. The mild thunderstorm outside kept even the most notorious daydreamers focused instead of filling their heads with verdant fields and sunny skies.

Her fifth-years left without much of a fuss, leaving her free and clear until dinner to take a nap, slog through some grading, and watch the storm to her heart’s content. Shifting into her animagus form settled a deep calm into her bones as she curled up on her desk, keeping one ear pricked for any students with last-minute questions. She dozed off to the tick of the clock and the low purr of thunder against the classroom windows.

The clattering of hurried feet and a jumble of voices pulled her from abstract dreams not thirty minutes later. _Please pass by, please pass by, please pass by_ , she thought desperately.

“We’re almost there, Pads, just a moment longer.” James Potter’s voice echoed through the empty hallway. “McGonagall will fix you up in half a second.” _Maybe if I hide under the desk…_

Minerva huffed and transformed back into herself; she could already feel a headache coming on and they hadn’t even arrived yet. When the door to her classroom flew open with a _bang!_ , she was expecting smoke, a smell, maybe even blood.

She was not expecting Sirius Black to nearly pass out on her floor. “Are you quite alright?” she asked, alarmed, as James propped him up on his shoulder. For once, he was silent. “Sirius?”

“We’re so sorry to interrupt, but we need your help,” James panted. “There was an incident in Potions.”

Minerva’s eyebrows rose. “And Professor Slughorn was unable to assist you?”

“That’s part of the incident,” Peter said, his ears turning pink.

“Sirius, would you care to explain yourself?” The poor boy looked as if his tongue was suddenly too large for his mouth. She sighed and tapped him on the head with her wand. “ _Finite Incantatum_.”

Remus winced. “We already tried that.”

Her eyebrows crept higher. _What on earth…?_ “Explain. Now. Not you, Sirius,” she added hastily as his eyes widened in desperation.

James hoisted him up again. “He wouldn’t stop blabbering, so I cast a silencing charm on him—"

“—but he panicked,” Remus finished. “And now we don’t know how to fix him.”

“Slughorn wasn’t really in a good place to help, either,” Peter chimed in. “Sirius said some rather unpretty things about him.”

 _Horace, you old toad_. Minerva took a deep, fortifying breath and pointed her wand directly at Sirius’ face; it took all her self-control not to laugh when he went cross-eyed. “ _Terminus Magus_.”

With a sharp _pop!_ And a puff of colorful smoke, Sirius began to talk. “Thank you Professor you have no idea how awful that was James is an idiot and Remus told him it was a bad idea but he tried it anyway and I felt like I was going to _die_ —”

“Sirius—”

“Have I ever told you how much I appreciate it that you call me that instead of Mr. Black?” A look of dawning horror overtook Sirius’ face as the torrent of words continued to flow. “You’ve always been my favorite teacher and you’re so nice to all of us even though we drive you batshit sorry about my language anyway you’ve really become like a mother today and I want to hug you _at least_ three times a day and—”

“ _Silencio_!” Sirius’ jaw snapped shut. Behind him, James, Peter, and Remus seemed torn between shock and absolute glee. The smile twitching at the edges of Remus’ mouth reminded her exactly why such a studious and quiet young man had ended up with troublemakers like these. She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled slowly. “Veritaserum?”

“ _So much_ veritaserum.” James was barely stifling his giggles. “Professor Slughorn had us brew it and then try it on each other, but I think Sirius’ went a bit sideways.”

“Who was his partner?” Without meeting her eyes, Remus raised his hand. “I thought so. It seems I’ll be having a discussion with Professor Slughorn about testing potions on students.”

“We didn’t think it was improper until he started talking,” Remus said sheepishly. “After that, it was pretty clear.”

 _Godric, help me_. “Mr. Potter, your silencing charm was shoddy at best. I expect better from a student of your caliber.”

“Yes, Professor,” James muttered, shrinking beneath her sharp gaze.

“Can you stop the reaction?” Peter asked, worrying at his lip. One of these days, she swore he was going to shew right through the damn thing. “He seems really uncomfortable.”

Minerva winced internally—Sirius’ flush was already returning. Improper veritaserum was infamous for not wanting to be contained, and every account she had read described it as feeling as if one swallowed one’s own tongue. “I’m afraid you’ll have to get the antidote from Professor Slughorn.”

The Marauders shared a look. “Is there any other way?” Remus tugged at his frayed shirt cuffs. “Sirius really didn’t hold back.”

Merlin, what Minerva wouldn’t give to hear _that_ particular sequence of events. The staff room would be interesting tonight. “I’m sorry, boys, but seeing as Professor Slughorn is the Potions Master, he is your best—your _only_ shot at getting Sirius back to normal.” She silently cursed her slipup as a spark of interest lit up three faces. Sirius still looked utterly miserable. “Hurry down to the dungeons and apologize. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

“Thank you, Professor,” all three chorused as they herded Sirius back out the door.

“No detours!” she reminded them as the door swung shut. She barely waited until they were out of earshot before bursting into laughter.


	2. Pink

“As you can see, the muggle theory of alchemy takes much from—” Minerva paused mid-sentence as a tingle of… _something_ spread across her scalp in a chilly wave. A chorus of low gasps and muffled giggles built behind her, only to stop cold as she slowly turned.

“James!” Remus Lupin hissed at his seat partner. “I can’t believe you’d do that! She’s our teacher _and_ our head of house!”

“Wha—I didn’t—” James’ jaw dropped. “That wasn’t me!”

“Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, would you care to share your conversation with the rest of the class?”

“Well—Professor, you see—” James spluttered, still tossing reproachful looks at his friend.

“Your hair, Professor McGonagall,” Remus cut in. “It’s, well…”

Pink. Her hair was _pink_. Minerva tugged on the loose curl that had escaped her bun, squinting at the vibrant color in the afternoon light. It certainly had not been such an alarming shade when she began class not twenty minutes prior. “ _Explain_ , Mr. Potter.”

“It wasn’t me!” he protested. “I don’t even know how to do that.”

Next to him, Remus snorted, but quickly stifled his laughter when Minerva cocked an eyebrow at him. “Do you have a comment, Mr. Lupin?”

“No, Professor,” he said with a light cough.

 _Liar_. She was tempted to call him out in front of the whole class, but perhaps a more subtle approach was in order. Him and his little friends had already been turning her hair prematurely gray for about six years now—it was only fair that she should return the favor. “Very well. Detention, Mr. Potter. _Finite Incantatum_.”

The color…didn’t change. Minerva frowned.

“ _Finite Incantatum_.” The whispers returned. “ _Terminus magus_.” The errant lock remained a stubborn fuchsia. _Breathe, Minerva, it’s against the rules to hex students_. “Class dismissed,” she gritted out. “Finish today’s chapter and write me 24 inches on the muggle theory of alchemy for our next class.”

Her sixth-years had never packed their possessions faster, nor had she been the subject of so many poorly-hidden glances before. “Mr. Lupin?” James and Remus both stopped in their tracks; their hushed argument ended abruptly. “Mr. Potter, you may leave.”

Remus stayed stock-still in the doorway until she beckoned him forward. He made a valiant effort to look casual, but he may as well have been walking to the gallows rather than her desk. “Yes, Professor?”

“That was quite a bit of magic your friend did,” she said nonchalantly. His eyes flickered up to her hair for half a second.

“It was.”

 _If he keeps gripping the strap of his bag, it’s going to snap right off_. “James has always been a good Charms student, of course, though I’m rather impressed by his ability to stack spells like that.”

“What?” Remus’ voice came out a little strangled and he cleared his throat. “I mean, you are?”

“Oh, yes. Not to mention the nerve it took for him to cast it on me of all people. It was a very Gryffindor thing to do, but then again his knack for daring is well-known to the whole school.”

“Uh-huh.”

It was getting harder to hold down a smile and she picked up a sheaf of essays to distract herself. “Complex magic like that…well, I think it warrants a certain amount of congratulations to dear Mr. Potter. I always assumed you were the more academically inclined of the group, but it appears I was incorrect.”

From the look on Remus’ face, Minerva may as well have forced him to chew on glass. “So he’s not in trouble?”

She shrugged. “I was thinking about it, but in the end, I realized this was a learning opportunity for the class on what a true example of Gryffindor boldness looks like, not to mention a shining case of advanced magic.”

“You don’t say?” The side of his jaw ticked; it was a miracle his teeth were still intact.

“I’m sure you’re relieved to have one of your best friends escape detention for once.”

“Absolutely.”

For the millionth time, Minerva wondered how Remus managed to keep his affliction a secret from the school. The words seemed to physically pain him. “You’re such a good friend, Mr. Lupin. Mr. Potter is lucky to have you.”

“He’ll be lucky to have something by the end of the night,” Remus muttered under his breath.

“Pardon?”

“Nothing, Professor.” He pasted on a fake smile and twisted the strap of his bag even further. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Yes, actually.” Minerva set the stack of essays down, leaned across her desk, and looked him dead in the eyes. “Undo the spell, Remus John Lupin.”

“Excuse me?” he squeaked.

“You may be an excellent student and a creative young wizard, but you are a terrible liar.” All the blood drained from his face. “Undo. The spell.”

Remus scrambled for his wand, nearly dropping it twice before pointing it at the top of her head and rattling off a series of counterspells that Minerva never would have dreamed of using in this manner. Her scalp tingled as the magic lifted, and he looked down at the floor. “I’m in trouble, aren’t I,” he said with an incredible amount of resignation for one so young.

“Oh, certainly. You can meet me in my office after dinner for the rest of the week while we discuss the proper uses of what you find in the school library.”

“Yes, Professor.” Remus’ ears were even pinker than the time she walked into the incorrect broom cupboard, finding him with his hand up Sirius Black’s shirt and an astonishing collection of hickeys on his neck. _Ah, to be sixteen again_.

“You may leave now. I’m sure Mr. Potter will be glad to hear his detention has been cancelled.”

“He’ll be insufferable,” Remus sighed, trudging back to the classroom door. “…Professor McGonagall?”

“Yes?” she looked up from the stack of essays and saw a cocky grin spreading across his face. _Oh, dear_.

“Did you mean what you said earlier? That the magic was impressive, and the bit about Gryffindor nerve?”

“Get out of my classroom, Lupin.”

Remus’ smile broadened and he all but skipped down the hallway. Minerva made a mental note to recommend him for Flitwick’s NEWT-level class—letting gifted students like him and his friends get bored was never a good idea. Godric knew what they would get up to next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to write this particular chapter for about a year now tbh. I hope you enjoyed it!


	3. Sticky Situation

The clang of the clocktower interrupted Minerva midway through her explanation of the homework. “Stop packing your things, you need to know this,” she called over the rustle of parchment. The students continued putting their things away, of course, but in slow motion. _Teenagers_. “Come get your rubrics from the front of the class as you leave. I expect all of you to read them this time.”

Five minutes and several stomped-on toes later, her sixth-year Transfiguration class had vanished into the stampede of students in the hall outside until only one remained.

“Can I help you, Mr. Potter?” she asked. _Please, Godric, let me go to lunch_.

“Yeah, actually, I was wondering if you could answer some questions for me?” James shifted in his seat.

She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “You do realize it’s lunchtime?”

“No, I do, I do.” He tapped his fingers on the desk awkwardly. “These are just… _really_ important questions.”

“Ask away.”

“Right. Okay. Um, how did you become a Transfiguration teacher?”

“I thought you wanted to be an Auror.”

“Well, yes, but it’s always good to have a backup plan,” James said quickly. “I mean, if the war ends tomorrow I won’t need to be one at all.”

“Wasn’t your original career path professional quidditch?” Minerva leaned against her desk and scanned his face. He had been adamant about becoming an Auror during their meeting; _I can’t just stand by_ , he had said with uncharacteristic solemnity.

“It was, but I’ve been talking with Remus lately and I realized that even if I was good enough to get on a pro team—”

“I won’t stand for the captain of my House’s quidditch team selling himself short in my classroom, Mr. Potter,” Minerva interrupted. “Yu are a gifted athlete.”

He seemed rather startled by her reassurance. “Oh. Thanks, Professor.” He shifted again and stared down at his hands. “I just want to be useful, you know?”

“That’s a very Gryffindor thing to say. For what it’s worth, I have total confidence that you will excel in any field you choose.” She tapped the spare rubrics on her desk and they stacked neatly. “However, this conversation is better suited to a career path appointment. I would be more than happy to schedule a time with you during my office hours.”

“No, that’s alright,” James said, shaking his head. “I appreciate the help.”

“Of course, Mr. Potter. Have a good lunch.” When he made no move to get up, she hesitated. “I’m sure your friends are waiting for you.”

“I’m sure they are.”

“Is there something else you need to ask?” He was silent for a suspicious amount of time. “James?”

“You’re a really great teacher, did you know that?”

“Thank you.”

“Even though we can be difficult and mess up silencing charms and dye your hair pink, you’re very patient. Most teachers would have expelled us by now.”

“You’ve certainly come close many times.”

“I really thought you were going to flay Remus alive for the hair thing.”

“He’s lucky. Are you trying to tell me the pranks have come to an end?” It was a desperate, hopeful thought.

“Definitely not,” James laughed. “We’ve still got a year and a half here. I’m just thanking you for being such a nonjudgmental, understanding, magnificent—”

She rubbed her hands over her eyes. “What do you want, Potter.”

“Magnificent took it a bit too far, eh?”

“A bit. You can leave now.”

“Actually, I can’t.”

“…excuse me?”

After a beat of uncomfortable silence, she looked up at him. James’ eyes were closed and his cheeks were a vibrant rose color. “I can’t get up.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No.”

“Are you ill?”

“No.”

“What did Sirius do?” she finally asked. James mumbled something. “Come again?”

“He glued me to my chair,” he admitted.

By the grace of Merlin himself, Minerva did not start cackling at the top of her lungs. Instead, she managed a very polite “oh”.

“As much as I’m enjoying our conversation, Professor, I’m starving and I _really_ have to use the bathroom.”

“ _Finite Ligo_ ,” Minerva said, pointing her wand at the poor boy’s seat. James was on his feet in half a second, slinging his bag over his shoulder and rushing to the door.

“I owe you one, Minnie!” he shouted over his shoulder.

“You owe me several,” she corrected as the door closed. Moments later, she watched him sprint across the grass outside her classroom, trip, and fall flat on his face. “Never change, James Potter.”


	4. Rhapsody

Trouble was in the air; Minerva could smell it. She really should have known better than to think they could go more than a week without some kind of nonsense from her cubs, and she was not looking forward to updating the chalkboard in the staff room. _If only I had a map like theirs_ , she found herself wishing for the umpteenth time.

A screeching noise echoed from one of the deserted hallways on the floor below and she paused as multiple voices hissed frantic spells until it stopped. “Shut _up_ , someone’ll hear us!”

Her eyes narrowed. That was Sirius Black; she’d bet her life on it. Carefully, channeling as much of her animagus talent as possible, she crept down the staircase and leaned against the wall to listen in. They were just around the corner, it seemed. “ _Ferrus canto_ ,” James whispered. There was a moment of hesitation, but the screeching did not start up again. “Oh, brilliant.”

“Genius, Prongs,” Remus said quietly.

“He’ll never see it coming.” Peter’s voice was gleeful. “This has to be the best one yet.”

Minerva closed her eyes. She pitied the poor victim of their newest prank, whoever it would be. “Is it ready?” Sirius asked.

“I think so. This is what the other ones looked like.” _Other ones?_ “Give it a shot, Prongs.”

“You have to give me room to work, Moony, good Godric.”

“So sorry, my liege, would you like me to roll out a carpet for you as well? A lowly peasant such as myself should never have—”

“Ugh, fine, I’m sorry. Can you _please_ move?”

Minerva held her hand over her mouth to stifle her chuckling. Perhaps if they spent less time bickering and more time doing spellwork, they would have gotten away with this. She debated bursting in right then and scaring the pants off them—that was always fun—but her curiosity got the better of her and she remained hidden as they continued to work.

A sort of heavy silence blanketed the corridor and she shifted into her cat form to hear beneath the charm, only for tinny music and light humming to echo off the walls.

“Stop singing along,” Peter groaned. “You’ll ruin it!”

“I can’t help it, it’s catchy!” Sirius said defensively.

“I’ll silence you again,” James threatened. There was a light scuffling noise before the music stopped and something creaked.

“Wicked,” Sirius breathed. “Wow, this is our best one for sure.”

Someone cleared their throat. “Is it—is it flexing its jaw?”

“Yeah, Moons.”

“Freaky.” The others murmured their agreement. “Right then, where to next?”

“Nowhere,” Minerva said dryly as she came around the corner in her human form. “Or possibly detention, depending on what you’ve done this time.” All four of them began making excuses at once and she held her hand up. “I heard just about everything I needed to. Would one of you care to explain what you’ve done?”

They shrank into a smaller and smaller group as she drew closer. The hall was empty, save for two suits of armor that protected the large windows looking out over the courtyard. She squinted at the one closest and realized it was shining with a faint blue light.

“What…did you do?” The boys remained silent and she raised an eyebrow. “Mr. Pettigrew?”

Peter stepped forward and bit his lip. “Not anything against the rules, Professor.”

“I’ll take this moment to remind you that enchanting school property outside of a classroom environment is against the rules.”

His gaze flickered back to his friends. “Maybe it’s—maybe it’s just a _little_ against the rules, then. But it’s great magic! Remus said you thought the hair dye thing was a great example of Gryffindor bravery and this is basically the same thing.”

Minerva turned slowly back to the group of three, where Remus was staring Peter down with murder in his eyes as he hid behind Sirius. Seeing as he was a solid four inches taller, it didn’t work. “Did he now? I believe we need to have another discussion about the use of the school library.”

“Please, don’t ban me again,” Remus blurted. “These three are allergic to libraries and I barely got anything done with them around all the time.”

“I think we both know that’s not entirely true.”

“It’s mostly true!”

Minerva sighed and pinched her nose. “One day, the rest of the staff is going to believe me when I tell them you four are a package deal,” she muttered. “What did you do to this poor armor?”

“Nothing permanent,” James said. “We think.”

“Undo it immediately.”

“What you don’t want to see what it is first?” A twinkle entered his eye. “Come on, Professor, it’s really cool.”

“If you tell me the locations of the other suits of armor you enchanted, I’ll listen.”

The four of them shared a look, then Sirius nodded. _Telepathy, I swear_. “Both suits outside the staff room, all of them by the bathrooms, two on the second-floor corridor, and three outside the kitchens,” he counted on his fingers.

“And?”

He deflated. “And the ones outside the Great Hall.”

“ _And?_ ”

“We got to the ones by Ravenclaw Tower, too, but I swear those are the last!”

Minerva nodded curtly. “Very well. You can show off now.”

Four faces split into wide grins and James pointed his wand at the armor. “ _Incipe Incantatem!_ ”

The helmet creaked, then the lower part wiggled around and began to sing.

“ _MAMAAAAAAA, OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! I DON’T WANNA DIE, SOMETIMES I WISH I’D NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALLLLLLLLL_!”

“ _Finite Incantatem!_ ” she shouted over the noise. The helmet slammed shut again and the glow dimmed. “What in Merlin’s name—”

“Boys!” Peter yelped from her other side as she turned around to scold them. “Enact Plan A-thirty-seven-X-Y-ninety-four-Romeo-Moonbeam-Jelly-Bean-Party-Scene-Lima-Screen—”

“ _Silencio!_ ” Minerva’s ears were still ringing a bit from the armor’s singing when his mouth snapped closed. “Mr. Pettigrew, what on earth are you saying?”

He tapped his lips and she murmured the counterspell. “Sorry, Professor.”

“Sorry? For the armor? Well, I must admit I appreciate the apology, now—” She stopped. Something was wrong. The space behind her was far, far too quiet to have James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin still standing there. _Oh, no_. She whirled around; at the end of the corridor, the tail end of black robes and a single shoe disappeared around the corner. “I—but— _Mr. Pettigrew_.”

But when she turned around again, he was gone, leaving her alone in an empty hall with two sets of armor and at least thirteen more waiting for some unlucky person to wander by.

“If any of you are still listening,” she called as she tried to collect her poise. “I’ll be waiting in my office at six o’clock with parchment for essay-writing. You’ll be there _tonight_ or I’m adding another week on to your sentence.”

“How long’s the sentence now?” James’ disembodied voice asked, followed by a solid smacking noise. “Ouch!”

She hid her smile as best she could. “Right now, you’ve got a week. Five days if you disenchant every single suit of armor you messed with.”

“Deal,” four voices chorused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these idiots so much
> 
> Also yes, the Hogwarts staff room has a "__ Days Since Our Last Nonsense" board and they got it specifically for the Marauders.
> 
> Comments and kudos fuel me! I love hearing from you!


	5. Students Out of Bed

Even before she opened her eyes, Minerva knew something was up. Pomona liked to tease her about her ‘sixth sense’ for bullshit, but it simply came with the territory after teaching the Marauders for so many years. _One night_ , she thought as she sat up and pulled on her dressing gown. _I don’t even get one night off._

The Fat Lady was out cold when Minerva passed her; she barely flinched at the bright _lumos_ of her wand. Down the hall, something moved.

Minerva tightened the sash of her robe, preparing to whisper-scold those ridiculous boys for the millionth time, when four large objects floated out of the darkness. “Evening, Professor,” James Potter said casually.

Her eyes flickered to the others—none of them looked particularly concerned by her presence. “I believe we are well into the night.”

Sirius looked around at the slowly-waking portraits. “Huh. I suppose we are.”

“Need I remind you that there is a rule explicitly stating that students are not to be out of their beds after curfew?”

“Thanks for the reminder, Professor, but I don’t see how that’s relevant,” Remus said, taking a sip of tea.

“I beg your pardon?” _Is this a stroke? A nightmare? Both?_

Remus lowered his mug; her spirits sank with it. “Well, we’re not actually breaking any rules right now.”

Minerva gaped at him. “Once again, students are not allowed out of bed after curfew.”

“Yes, but we’re not out of bed,” Peter chirped.

A sense of dread came over her as she squinted into the darkness and her _lumos_ became brighter. She had been too exhausted, both mentally and physically, to pay much attention to whatever poor objects the boys had commandeered, but in the new light she saw the truth.

Beds. They had levitated their beds to ride through the halls.

“How...?” she began, only to stop abruptly as James opened his mouth. “That is a rhetorical question, Potter. I am not in the mood for a tutorial.”

“It was a group effort,” he said with a shrug. “Took us a good while to figure out.”

“These beds were bolted to the floor.”

“Yeah.”

“And reinforced with charms as old as the castle.”

“Several,” Sirius chimed in. “It’s not like we destroyed anything, though.”

“I would hope not.”

“As lovely as it is to see you, Professor, we should probably head to bed.” Remus had the nerve to sound apologetic. “Early classes and all that.”

Minerva blinked. “No.”

“Is there something we can help you with?” Peter asked.

“You can get down off those beds this instant, before you break your necks!”

James shook his head; the corners of Sirius’ mouth twitched up. “But we can’t do that or we’d be out of bed. That’s against the rules, Professor.”

“I’m well aware!” she snapped, causing several paintings to shush her. “However, the fact remains that the four of you are out of your dormitory several hours after curfew. As sixth-year students, it is your duty to set a good example for the younger students who look up to you.”

“With all due respect, I don’t think many firsties look up to us,” Remus said.

“Mr. Lupin, _you are a prefect_.”

“And a thumping good one at that!” James agreed, grinning at Remus. “Knows the rules inside and out.”

“So it was your idea,” she sighed, turning back to the jumper-clad boy in exasperation.

“No, actually.” He sounded rather surprised and she decided not to think about that too hard. “However, I did quite a lot of fact-checking.”

“Fact-checking.”

“Loads of it. For example, did you know that page 17 of the Hogwarts student handbook says, and I quote, ‘students shall not leave their beds past curfew under penalty of detention’,” he recited, crossing his legs over his blankets. “Pete can say it in the original Latin if you like.”

Minerva gritted her teeth and took a deep breath. “That rule was made with the intention of banning students from wandering the castle at night.”

“How do you know?” Sirius countered. “We’re following the written rules, not an interpretation.”

 _The absolute audacity of these boys_ , she thought. _What did I do to deserve this?_

Peter’s bed floated a couple meters closer. “May we go now?”

“We’re very tired and we’d like to get some sleep for our growing brains,” James said, stretching his arms over his head.

“As would I. However, as your Head of House and Deputy Headmistress, punishing students for rule-breaking is part of my job. Which is why—” She held her hand up as all four began to protest at once. “ _Which is why_ I will allow you to go back to your dormitories this one time.”

Remus’ face lit up. “We’re not in trouble?”

“Seeing as the rules say ‘out of bed’ and you are, in fact, still physically in your beds, I’m afraid there’s nothing to punish you for.” She raised an eyebrow at them. “You’re lucky tonight. I’ll see you all in my office at four pm to discuss the methods you used to levitate the beds.”

“I thought you said we weren’t in trouble!” Sirius argued.

“Think of it as an opportunity for growth,” she said as she stepped aside to let them past. “You four are going to be the death of me.”

“Nah.” James winked as he passed. “You love us too much for that. Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, Minnie,” Sirius said, sounding like the cat that got the cream.

Remus, while slightly more subdued, still shone with pride. “Night, Professor.”

“Goodnight!” Peter waved at her as the door to the Common Room swung open.

“Sleep well, boys,” she said grudgingly when the door began to close behind them. _No detours tonight, thank Godric_. “I’ll see you after breakfast.”

If Minerva laughed until her stomach hurt and then immediately drafted a note to Dumbledore about amending school rules, well, that was nobody’s business but her own. _Clever cubs_ , she thought as she settled back beneath her blankets with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do it. Next up: vengeance
> 
> Comments and kudos are my lifeblood! Infinite thanks to anyone who has left them so far <3


	6. Best Served Cold

Later that night, as she muddled over the events of the day, Minerva decided that the so-called ‘Marauders’ really had been asking for it. Six years of relentless troublemaking coupled with the events of the last few weeks had earned her more than a little justified payback; to make matters worse, their stunt with the floating beds had inflated their egos to the point where it was a wonder they didn’t simply float away.

“We’ll be closing out our unit on animal Transfiguration today,” Minerva announced as the first bell sounded. The class did not quiet down— _typical_ —until she cleared her throat and gave them the sternest look she could muster.

Peter Pettigrew gritted his teeth as Sirius tossed small balls of crumpled paper down the back of his shirt, but to his credit, he kept his eyes firmly on the blackboard as she outlined the agenda. “Pete!” James hissed, far too quiet for anyone but a cat to hear.

“Leave him alone,” Remus whispered back. Out of the corner of her eye, Minerva saw him kick the leg of James’ chair. “Can’t you pay attention for once in your life?”

“Can it, Moonbeam.”

Minerva cleared her throat again and turned around; the class fell silent once more as she rapped her wand lightly on the desk. “Mr. Potter, do you have something you wish to share?”

James’ dark eyes snapped up to her and he quickly shoved a folded note in his bag. Sirius dropped his face into his hand. “Uh, no, Professor.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I would like to remind _all_ of you that I will not hesitate to take House points from Gryffindor if the appropriate occasion presents itself. Now, who can tell me the difference between an Animagus and a Transfigured human?”

Several hands went into the air and she nodded to Lily, who adjusted her parchment and her quill before speaking. _Always prepared_ , Minerva thought with a quiet smile. “An Animagus is a witch or wizard who undergoes a complex ritual and may shift forms from human to animal at will. A Transfigured person is under the influence of a temporary spell and cannot change back until the enchantment is reversed.”

“Very good, Ms. Evans. Fifteen points to Gryffindor.” The chalk scratched against the chalkboard as it copied Lily’s textbook-perfect definition for the rest of the class to see. A new hand went into the air and she fought the urge to groan aloud. _If he brings up one more ‘hypothetical’ scenario…_ “Yes, Mr. Lupin?”

“Theoretically, would it be possible for a person to Transfigure themselves into an animal, or does another person have to do it? Because the Animagus process would be completely unnecessary and, honestly, far too dangerous to undertake if a simple spell would do the trick.” He winced as Sirius and James kicked the back of his chair and glared at them both through narrowed eyes.

“An excellent question. While it is possible for a witch or wizard to Transfigure themselves into an animal, it is nearly impossible to undo the spell without help. Wandless, silent magic is extremely difficult and should something go wrong, it is always best to have another person around when attempting complicated spell work.” _Though it’s much more fun to try it by yourself_ , she added in her mind.

“But becoming an Animagus also requires a mentor,” Remus continued, leaning forward in his seat as he always did when he started getting fired up about a subject. “So what’s the difference?”

“Once the transformation is complete, the mentor is no longer necessary after the first few weeks. The enchanted individual no longer relies on another person, as would be the case with Transfiguration.” An idea budded in her mind and she stifled a grin. “I think a demonstration might be helpful in this scenario.”

The whole class perked up and she set her wand on her desk, sliding seamlessly into her feline form. Colors and scents turned sharper—she could smell the ink and parchment of James’ note and the butterscotch candies deep in Peter’s pocket, as well as the muggle mints at the bottom of Lily’s bag. She paced the front of the room for a moment, then straightened up again.

“As you can see, I required no outside assistance to change forms. Professor Dumbledore was my mentor, but he only supervised me during the initial transformation ritual.” Minerva picked her wand up, fiddling with the carved patterns along the smooth wood. “I’ll need a few volunteers for the next part. How about you four?”

Peter all but melted into his chair and Sirius paled, his eyes flickering over to James for half a second. “Us, Professor?” Remus asked weakly.

“You asked the question, did you not?” She motioned them to the front and giggles rolled through the rest of the class; Lily settled back in her seat with a smirk, as if she had been waiting her whole life for this moment.

“I think—I think becoming an Animagus takes more time than we have in class,” James said with a light cough.

“Indeed it does.” Minerva lined them up with a few feet of space between them—Godric knew what they might turn into. “Mr. Lupin’s question was a valid inquiry, and I believe you will best understand the boundaries of what he suggested with a visual example. I’d like to make it very clear that this is not a punishment of any kind, simply a learning opportunity.”

With a wave of her wand and a ripple of magic, the boys disappeared. Gasps rolled over the classroom and the fluffy dog that used to be Sirius Black barked once, then snapped his mouth shut and laid his head on his paws with a whine.

Each animal resembled its source if she caught them at the right angle—the rat was the same color as Peter’s perpetual bedhead, the dog’s eyes were the same shade as Sirius’, and the awkwardly-tall stag shared James’ general air of confidence, even as its hooves wobbled on the stone floor. The tawny wolf on the end sniffed the air, then shook its lanky body out and gave her a look that nobody but Remus Lupin could make.

“Class— _class_ , that’s quite enough,” she called over the ruckus, sending a few sparks into the air to get their attention. Lily’s face was bright pink from laughing and Minerva shot her a quick wink. “Could the four of you test Mr. Lupin’s theory and try to change yourselves back into your human form?”

There was a beat of quiet, broken only by slight rustling as they concentrated. Marlene McKinnon raised her hand, a smile playing at her lips. “Professor, are they—can you just leave them like that?”

All four animals made noises of indignation at the same time Minerva chuckled. “No, that would be against school policy. This is an educational demonstration and nothing more.” With a faint _pop_ , the four boys returned; James shook his shoulders out and Remus sneezed, sending the rest of the class into a fit of laughter once again. “Did that answer your question, Mr. Lupin?”

“Yes, Professor,” he mumbled. His ears turned red as they headed back to their seats and Minerva turned to the blackboard to hide her smile as she drew up a comparison list. To be fair, Remus’ question had been the perfect segue into their upcoming unit.

“Now that we’ve established the difference between Animagi and Transfigured individuals, does anyone have other questions on the subject?”

A veritable forest of hands shot into the air when she faced the class. Minerva had never loved her job more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After three months (ish), the fic is complete! Thank you to everyone who has left kudos and comments--it really helped me continue writing this silly little fic, and it was so wonderful to hear your thoughts. Hope you enjoyed the finale! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated and mean the world to me. Come talk to me on tumblr at @wayward-demigod-witch!


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